1. |
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He’s not the comic book guy from the Simpsons
or a chicken I saw in a meme once.
Definitely not The Undertaker,
or dark haired dog the bounty hunter
He definitely ain’t Peter kay,
He isn’t Bill bailey,
He’s not Bulk from the Power Rangers,
Or Toadfish from Neighbours.
He's not Toadfish from Neighbours.
He’s not the guy from the Magic Numbers
or a cat in a wig I saw in a meme once.
Not Oakenshield from Lord of the Rings
or Jim Hopper from Stranger Things.
He didn’t write Bat out of Hell.
He isn’t Steven Segal.
He's definitely not silent bob, and despite the rumours
He’s not toadfish from neighbours.
He's not Toadfish from Neighbours.
He's not Toadfish from Neighbours.
He's not Toadfish from Neighbours.
He's not Toadfish from Neighbours.
He's not Toadfish from Neighbours.
He's not Toadfish from Neighbours.
He's not Toadfish from Neighbours.
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2. |
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Hey!
Hey!
Happy haze being shoved inside the pit
Let go any way that you like, no one notices.
The warmth of feeling you belong with everyone else who didn’t belong.
But you did all along.
We did along.
Why don’t you dance like no one you know is here.
Dance like no one you know is here!
Dance like no one you know is here!
Ooooooo
Feeling safe and alive beside the pit
Be anything that you like, everyone notices
and nods you into where you belong, with everyone else who didn’t belong.
But you did all along.
We did all along.
Why don’t you dance like no one you know is here.
Dance like no one you know is here!
Dance like no one you know is here!
Ooooooo
Hey!
Hey!
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3. |
Porky Pies
02:21
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Are you ready? come get it quick.
There’s so much gonna make you sick.
But you expect it, now its normalised.
A feast no one refuses full of pork porky pies.
Its normalised.
Fabrication and lies
Exaggeration, misinformation, accusations denied.
Its normalised.
Fabrication and lies
Exaggeration, misinformation, accusations denied.
Are you ready? come get it quick.
There’s so much gonna make you sick.
But you expect it, now its normalised.
A feast no one refuses full of pork porky pies.
Its normalised.
Fabrication and lies
Exaggeration, misinformation, accusations denied.
Its normalised.
Fabrication and lies
Exaggeration, misinformation, accusations denied.
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4. |
Short as F*ck
02:07
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Have you seen that you’re in the fucking way?
Have you seen where you are are?
You’re in the way.
Can’t see through your head and there’s no live replay.
Watch yourself, step around but don’t push me yeah?
Just check yourself and watch your fucking step.
You’re watching the band, whippin’ around, push the crowd back and forth to everyone.
Take ‘em all on if you want, but leave me,
and only push those who want in on fightin’.
Watch yourself, step around but don’t push me yeah?
Just check yourself and just watch your fucking step.
Have you seen where you are are?
You’re in the way.
Have you seen where you are are?
You’re in the way.
Oooooo
Where you are where you are.
Where you are where you are.
Yeah yeah.
Watch your fucking step.
Have you seen where you are are?
You’re in the way!
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5. |
Uri Geller Couldn't
01:58
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I met Uri Geller
(That guy that bends spoons)
And he did not like me.
And he just couldn’t get me
And I knew, no matter what I did, he’d never get me.
Cos, that was just him.
But now, whenever I meet people who just can’t get what I’m about
I say, yeah, you’re not the only one
Cos’ Uri Geller couldn’t either.
I say Uri geller couldn’t .
I say Uri couldn’t.
I say Uri Couldn’t.
I say Uri Couldn’t.
I say Uri Couldn’t.
I say Uri Couldn’t.
Haha!
You know, you are always gonna meet people who just can’ get what you’re about
Don’t change!
Cos’ no matter what you do, they won’t get you.
Now, whenever I meet people who just can’t get what I’m about,
I say yeah, you’re not the only one,
Cos Uri Geller couldn’t either.
I say Uri Geller couldn’t.
I say Uri couldn’t.
I say Uri Couldn’t.
I say Uri Couldn’t.
I say Uri Couldn’t.
I say Uri Couldn’t
Haha!
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6. |
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They farmed fear to reap your vote
Easy to grow in the dark.
I still water my hope.
Their crop grew around where you lived
But don’t forget,
More didn’t want it than did.
But that’s not how it works.
And I still hope for better
and everything ends
And I want to remember that, my favourite fact about Maggie, is that she’s fucking dead.
Oooh, is that she’s fucking dead.
Is that she’s fucking dead
They made some ears want to be deaf
Easy not to hear in the dark.
I am to your left.
Deaf ears of wheat grew where you lived
But don’t forget
More didn’t want it than did.
But that not how it works
And I still hope for better
And everything ends
And I want you to remember that, my favourite fact about Maggie, is that she’s fucking dead.
Oooh, is that she’s fucking dead.
Is that she’s fucking dead
My heart is here. It sits heavier than lead
But not of iron, ‘cos that one is dead.
So don’t forget,
More didn’t want it than did.
But that’s not how it works.
And I still hope for better
And everything ends
And I want you to remember that,
My favourite fact about Maggie
My favourite fact about Maggie
My favourite fact about Maggie is that she’s fucking dead.
Oooh, is that she's fucking dead.
Is that she’s fucking dead.
Ooooooh
Ding.
Dong.
The witch is dead!
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7. |
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Last year, I answered a penpal ad it was from 1989
from a Smash Hits magazine, I didn’t expect a reply.
Then 3 months later I heard from Barry, he said he was fine!
Even though he was now 42 (and he’d only been about 10 at the time).
We exchanged letters to and fro across the land.
Then, I got ghosted by Barry when I told him the name of my band.
I got ghosted by smash hits Barry from 1989
I got ghosted by Barry from 1989
I got ghosted by Barry from 1989
Ghosted by Barry from 1989
Ghosted by Barry from 1989
Ghosted by Barry from 1989
At first I wasn’t bothered, I mean there’d never been any plan,
But he’d asked what music I liked, and could I recommend anyone?
It wasn’t like I’d said aught rude or that we’d started to bicker.
No hoh, he only ghosted me when I sent him a load of my band stickers.
I got ghosted by smash hits Barry from 1989
I got ghosted by Barry from 1989
I got ghosted by Barry
Ghosted by Barry
Ghosted by Barry
Ghosted by Barry
Sent him a Christmas card as well.
No reply.
Maybe we should, maybe we should record this song?
And put it on a cassette and take it down to Gosport and hand it to Barry,
And see if he responds then?
Ghosted by smash hits Barry from 1989
I got ghosted by Barry from 1989
I got ghosted by Barry
Ghosted by Barry
Ghosted by Barry
Ghosted by Barry
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8. |
Beer Fear
03:24
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The fog in your head, sits a cloud on your shoulders.
Light up a cigarette and think back through the night, yeah?
Your homing switch flicked on at one pint to black out.
Tide of regret, fills the tub that you soak in.
It starts with intentions of one but then you just keep keep carry on till the night turns to 2am. It’s never enough, not quite time to give up,
go on then, and again, is it time to relent?
You just skip it up, beat the clock, just one more, just one one more,
I don’t know, let me sleep, I’m all out, get me home!
Get me home.
Your blanket of self doubt is warm and familiar
Just cos you feel it don’t make it true, yeah?
French exit the night when it’s too close to black out.
No recall of leaving or arriving.
It starts with intentions of one but then you just keep keep carry on till the night turns to 2am.
It’s never enough, not quite time to give up,
go on then, and again, is it time to relent?
You just skip it up, beat the clock, just one more, just one one more,
I don’t know, let me sleep, I’m all out, get me home!
Get me home.
Oh
Take me home
Oh
Take me home
Yeah
Take me home
Ooooooh
It starts with intentions of one but but but then you just keep keep keep keep carrying on.
I’m all out.
Take me home.
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9. |
You're a Bellend
04:02
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Cold and vacant, overstated unfragrant, your hold on your girlfriend makes a bold and rough statement.
You won’t be told, ‘cause you’re ancient, don’t make you wise, just rude and impatient.
We’re bored of your shit, don’t care what’s on your bank statement.
Oh Oh Ooooh.
You listen to Coldplay and eat your kebabs over a bin,
You got a clip on top knot and you’re too flash to drink a tin.
You’re a bellend.
You’re a bellend.
You’re a bellend.
You’re a bellend.
Oh. Ooooh.
Offending chat, so condescending.
You’re sending me under with your constant pretending. Neverending.
No you won’t no you won’t be told, ‘cos you’re not listening, don’t make you right just unrelenting. We’re bored of your shit.
Don’t care where you work, or how flashy you are with your spending.
Oh. Ooooh.
You drive a flash car but still live with your mum.
Talking about bitcoin always makes your cum.
You’re a bellend.
You’re a bellend.
You’re a bellend.
You’re a bellend.
You’re a bellend.
You’re a bellend.
You’re a bellend.
You’re a bellend.
You drive a flash car but still live with your mum.
Talking about bitcoin always makes your cum.
You’re a bellend.
You’re a bellend.
You’re a bellend.
You’re a bellend.
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Smoking Gives You Big Tits Salford, UK
Now a four piece outburst of riot grrrl influence post-punk that are drawn to the comical, Smoking Gives you Big Tits are as likely to be found celebrating the ridiculous as calling out the actions of the government. They were originally a two piece, consisting of vocals, guitar and kazoo, that formed off the back of a fag packet in 2019 and added bass and drums to the line up in 2021. ... more
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